The time honored advice when it comes to writing has always been to “write what you know.” This is never more true than when writing a college admissions essay. No matter what story you decide to tell, a college essay is always fundamentally about you. And what I’ve learned after reading countless essays is this: if you stray from reality, if you write about yourself as you wish you were as opposed to how you actually are, that will come across. Your essay will hit more false notes than a tone-deaf soprano, and without actually knowing what is wrong, the reader will be able to tell that something is off.

The good news is that if you write about yourself honestly – even if you are not a saint or a scholar – you will probably come across as likeable and sincere. Which means the challenge of an essay is self-discovery – finding traits that are genuine and relatable and putting them down on paper. This is no easy task but there are ways to do it.

One technique is to create a list of adjectives that best describe you; make another list of the activities you most enjoy, Be brutally honest – if you’re cautious by nature, don’t claim to be a thrill-seeker. If your passion is karaoke, don’t pretend it’s practicing the violin. Remember, the essay is the place to reveal yourself, not sell yourself. It may help to ask friends and family to describe your character and attributes. As you write and edit your essay, check it repeatedly to make sure it is reflecting an honest picture of you.

Students often dread writing their college essays, but looking inward will definitely get results – and not just in an effective essay, but in a surprising reward of self-discovery. All in all, a nice payoff to a stressful enterprise!